إلى أي درجة تكون ذات طفلك مفتوحة ؟ .. كتاب عندما تكسب قلب طفلك

How open is your child's self? .. Book When you win your child's heart

How open is your child's self?

You can test yourself and your children to find out how open your self and their self are to others and to you.
This is a simple general test that enables the father to know whether his child suffers from a closed self or is on the way to suffering from it. Give each of the following questions a mark out of five, so that the question gets one mark if the answer is (never) The question does not get two marks if the answer is (rarely).

The question gets three marks if the answer is (sometimes)

The question gets four marks if the answer is (usually)

And the question gets five full marks if the answer is (always)

And now here are these questions:

1- Does my child (age over two years) enjoy my touching him? .

2- Does my child come to me to hug me after I come from work or after coming from school? .

3 - Does my child respect what I respect or who I respect in life or from acquaintances?

4 - Does my child value what I value as a source of moral value, such as holy books or other moral values? .

5 - Are my child's friends the ones I feel comfortable with him or are they among those I would choose to be friends with if I were able to? .

6 - Does my child dress or style his hair in a way that I like or approve of?

7 - Does my child engage in activities that I approve of and hope he will do?

8 - Does my child listen to types of music that I approve of? .

9 - Does my child enjoy talking to me? .

10 - Does my child usually agree with the opinions I adopt and put forward? .

11 - Does my child enjoy accompanying me to the places we go?

12 - Does my child obey me?

13 - Do I have a loving relationship with my child and a warm emotional parenting? .

14 - Does my child naturally enjoy looking into my eyes? .

- Total score

The total score indicates the following:

20-14 Dangerous sign, you should start solving existing problems.

30-21 Warning, start solving problems carefully, carefully and attentively.

40-31 Pay attention to sudden problems.

50-41 Minor problems may arise, but things are acceptable.

70-51 Construction is complete - be careful in your leadership of the family.

If you have reached the conviction that your child suffers from self-absorption or is on the way to reaching this state, you can start to win him back as an obedient son who is open-minded and self-centered with you, by inviting him to dinner outside the house or taking him on a two-day trip at the end of the week, and you must let him know that you intend to build a strong friendship with him as much as you can. Then, mention an incident that you think has had a negative impact on him, and ask him if he remembers that incident and whether it was hurtful or humiliating to him. If his answer is no, you can take the initiative by asking him: If that incident did not bother you, then mention some incidents in which my behavior was annoying and humiliating to you. Be prepared to hear the unexpected. As soon as those problems that are troubling your child come to you from the past that you may not remember well, you should deal with them as if they were fresh problems that have just happened. Use the five steps that we mentioned in this chapter: gentleness and kindness, understanding, admitting the mistake, touching and hugging (compromising), and asking for forgiveness.