الأفراح والأحزان في حمص ١_a .. كتاب حمص

the fourth chapter

Joys and sorrows

Social customs and traditions are evident in joys and sorrows, and the most important joys in every person’s life, were and still are:

1- Marriage:

Since the woman was hidden from the man, it was necessary to send a woman on behalf of the “permissible daughter” for her son, so she would begin visiting some houses, while concealing her original purpose for the visit until, when she found what she was looking for, she revealed her purpose and expressed her desire to get closer to the girl’s family, then she mentioned the characteristics of her son. And his gifts, his income, and his benefits, then she goes away and returns at another time, making room for the girl’s family to ask about her son in the market, whoever knows him and who is recommending him, and from his maternal uncles, and here comes the turn of the father or brother to ask about the suitor, so if he finds someone who is zakating him, he informs the mother of that, and when The matchmaker returns and receives an affirmative answer. Preliminary discussions begin. Between the women to agree on the dowry: the advance and the back, the house furnishings, the mark, and the morning mark. The mark: the set of gifts that are presented to the engagement party and are attached to the full amount of the dowry. And the morning preacher in. The gift that the groom gives to his bride on the wedding night during the jilwa.

After these matters are agreed upon, the women set a date for the men’s engagement. At the appointed time, the groom’s father, along with the groom’s paternal uncles, uncles, and some senior family members, go to the house of the bride’s father. He also invited her paternal uncles, maternal uncles, and some relatives.

After greeting and welcoming, one of the groom’s relatives speaks, mentioning the virtue and morals of the bride’s family and that these qualities are what made them want to meet so-and-so’s family, and that they hope to hear the bride’s father’s approval to give his daughter/so-and-so to our son so-and-so/then he says, “Listen to us, Al-Fatihah” with the intention of acceptance. And satisfaction and peace be upon the soul of the Holy Prophet. So she recited Al-Fatihah. Then the guests are presented with something prepared for this occasion, and the people leave thankful and thankful.

All these things are happening, and the fiancé does not know anything about his fiancée except what his mother or the matchmaker told him of her descriptions: “Oh my son, what a blessing this bride has, round like the moon and shaped like a ring, and in texture like a dairy penis” “And black eyes like (1) - the gazelle, and she is dark and white like Rank (2).

During the engagement period, the groom devotes himself to preparing his house, which is usually a room in his family’s house, and the girl devotes himself to preparing her equipment with the help of her family and friends. Usually, Monday night, Friday night, or Thursday night is set for “Kutab al-Kitab” and the contract is concluded in the groom’s house by someone assigned by the Sharia judge to do so. The male relatives of both parties are invited to it, and after the Qur’an is performed, the wedding night is set, and it is desirable that it be one of the nights mentioned.

In the days preceding the wedding night, the bride is taken to the bath and a procession of invited women accompanies her. If her family is well off, they take the bath / seclusion / i.e. it is rented specifically for them and prevents others from entering. There they ululate and dance around the pool / baraniya and participate inside in washing the bride while caressing her with their hands and tongues. And their eyes.

As for henna, it comes the next day after the bath, and is always used on a joyful occasion, as it is always associated with joy, and that is why they said in their proverbs: “After my death, henna “your blood money” is a metaphor for gloating over the one who died, and it is not limited to women. Rather, men sometimes share it and children sometimes share it. It is ancient in history. It was also known to the Pharaohs by this name, and in the era we are talking about, women used to bow their hands and feet with it in certain seasons and on special occasions: the henna of Rajab, the two Eids, and especially at marriage, as it was performed with a special ceremony between dancing and singing.

This vegetable dye was brought from India, and it has two types: red for the hands and feet, and black for the incapacitated women and men to cover gray hair and to conceal the clearer fingers! ! ! Some women dye their hair with red henna. On the day before the henna night, the henna is kneaded with water and left in its container until the evening until it ferments. Before going to sleep, the hands are washed and a piece of this paste is placed in each of them. The palm is applied to it and wrapped with a handkerchief or cloth. In the morning the laces are loosened, the palms are washed and wiped with oil or the day’s oil. The one who precedes the wedding night prepares the bride’s trousseau to send it to the groom’s house. The groom’s family, including the women, are invited to this occasion to view the trousseau. It is hung on the walls and posted on a sign inside one or two halls, and after that it is prepared in /bug/ or placed in the cash register (1) or Saturday .

Originally, the trousseau was taken with the bride on the wedding night, and the bride’s procession would proceed, surrounded by an entourage of women and children, and on the head of each of them or of them would be a bag containing some of the bride’s clothes. Some boys carry on their heads a breast containing rice or other materials prepared for cooking, like lambs, from the bride’s house to the groom’s house. Then this habit changed, so they sent the device a day or two ago
From the wedding night.

On the morning of the wedding night, the girl begins to prepare herself, and one of the hairdressers is called to her to decorate her. Women's hair was long and they prided themselves on its length, with a mane in braids. On the wedding night, the bride's hair was draped over her shoulders and then a white veil was placed over it after she dressed her in a white suit. The number of adornments at that time were:

* Sulaimani whitewash is placed on the face and is a toxic substance due to the presence of mercury oxide in it.

* Ocher is a red substance that was prepared by perfumers and was used to paint the cheeks and lips of women.

* Kohl: It is antimony type antimony. It is pounded, ground, then sieved with a very fine screen, mixed with some organic dyes, then placed in a kohl with a slant on it to outline the eyes and eyebrows. It extinguishes the heat of the eyelids, as Al-Ba’ni claims.

* Borax: It is a round piece of cellophane paper that is the color of gold or silver. The borax may be soft, “tharwar,” and is stuck to the face with a finger or comb, giving beautiful light ripples, and that is why it is called “tinsel.” The butchers used to put it on the buttocks of the sheep to beautify them!!! also !!! . After the table finishes decorating the bride, the bride sits with her face to the wall, and she is asked to cry as an expression of her sadness over the separation from her family! It is a shame that she shows her joy on this occasion! ! ! Aunt Umm Hassan mentioned to us, may God have mercy on her, who lived ninety-nine years AH. When he asked her to sit against the wall, she was unable to shed tears because she was actually happy with her wedding, so she did nothing, out of respect for tradition, but wet her fingers with her saliva and rub it on her eyes to show traces of crying, signs of regret for parting with her family, which forced the bridegroom to return to the wall. Decorate it! ! !

In the week preceding the wedding day, the groom’s relatives and close friends, along with the groom, go to the bathroom at the time allotted for men at night. There they wash themselves, between joking, commenting, and caressing, and spend their evening in this way. When they begin to go out, one of them lags behind them to pay the pigeon’s wafa, i.e. his wages, to the bathroom, and after that, two lambs. To the groom by the motive. On the wedding night, after sunset, the groom is taken to the house of one of his relatives, where they begin the party, dressing him in wedding clothes, and these clothes do not necessarily belong to him. Rather, the guardianship may be borrowed from so-and-so, the jacket from another person, and the house from a third person, and if there is someone in the neighborhood who has good guardianship.